


Microwave Dinners and Broken Buildings

by glyph_zero



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Parody, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2016-04-01
Packaged: 2018-05-30 13:58:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6426604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glyph_zero/pseuds/glyph_zero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In honor of all those awful self insertion fics floating around here</p>
            </blockquote>





	Microwave Dinners and Broken Buildings

You admire them. Of course you do. Their heroism, their bravery, those tight butts in those costumes...no, bad, we won't go there.

You watch them on TV when eating your microwave dinners, when hanging your clothes to dry or folding them to put away. Showing their heroics, showing people discussing their heroics, showing people discussing the people discussing their heroics. You read the latest gossip on your phone while sneaking away for a "cigarette break".

You even considered joining one of the many fan clubs, but you aren't a teen anymore. You're in your early thirties and the most heroic thing in your life is fending off the constant barrage of "Have you considered children yet? The clock is ticking, you know!" from your relatives.

You're telling them what you always told them. You're waiting for the right guy.

Deep down you know you are waiting for your prince.

\---

It's been a long day at your office job when you finally come home. Closing the door of your apartment with a foot you put down the groceries on the commode in your hall. A quick look into the mirror above it confirms what you already know.

The make up is still in place but it cannot hide the few spots on your skin. The few crows feet showing around eyes and mouth. The little extra weight on your cheeks and chin.

You sigh and remind yourself not for the first time and not the thousandth time to actualy start going to the gym for which you are paying monthly membership.

Picking up the remote and turning on the tv for some background noise you take the post you brought up to the couch. You sit down to sift through them, ads and bills most likely, you don't really get any letters.

At which point your windows are blown apart and the entire building rocks with an explosion.

Screaming you raise both arms over your hand and fall to the floor.

When nothing else happens you unfold from you curled together position and look around. The windows are gone, glass is everywhere but thankfully it missed you all. Smoke is billowing out in front to of your windows and shouts can be heard. And a huge part of the neighbouring building is missing.

Gasping you stagger to the window to see what is going on, not really thinking, acting on autopilot, pictures of airplanes and alien portals flashing in your mind.

You look out at what used to be your window...just in time to see a golden red figure zooming past the street. Again you gasp and your eyes widen. They are here! You can _see them right now_.

Next thing a silver and green flash is thrown out of the rubble of the neighbouring building, impacting the opposite wall. More shouting.

And out of the semi-collapsed building stalks a female figure, beautiful face contorted in a snarl.

You sort of know her, have seen her around. Early twenties, gorgeous figure and blonde mane of hair.

Friendly enough it seems, always polite and courteous to waiters and stuff.

You once saw her striding down the walkway, looking at her phone. Her clothes had been incredebily. She had combined a _corset_ with _casual business wear_ and looked breathtaking in it. People had been staring and whispering but you knew that secretly they had all wished what you wished: that you were brave enough to wear clothes like that.

Now she was standing in the street, face twisted in anger, a golden glow around her hands. The figure that had been tossed around stood slowly up. You gasp again: Doctor Doom!

He says something you can not understand, your neighbour answers. Then they fight.

It lasts for a good half hour. You neighbour throws around energy from her _bare hands_ , Doom can barely keep up. The other Avengers show up too, but they are mostly kept busy by Doombots. You get to see them all fight. It is just as impressive as it looks in TV but also a hell of a lot more scary when you are that close by. More then once you duck behind your windowstill, but you can not keep away from the fight.

Then it is over. Doom flees in a flash of green light, Stark's robotic clean up units and human helpers show up to clean the rubble and agents are standing around, questioning the witnesses.

You see your neighbour. She is standing with Captain America, who is smiling at her. She flips her gorgeous hair and both of them laugh.

Only later do you realise you forgot your phone and so don't even have to post anything online like many other people in the street.

\---

The fight is the topic talk of the day next day at work of course, but not many people listen to your account, more interested in the online videos and reports.

The building next door gets completely repaired and renovated, courtesy of Stark of course. It gets modernised and even the rents are lowered. Sadly all apartments are spoken for, so you can't move in there.

You get compensated for the damage by SHIELD but have to wait some time for your windows to finally be replaced.

One evening, after the repairs are finished, you stand at your window and see a man and a woman coming along the street. Under the streetlamp in front of the repaired building they stop. It's Captain America and your neighbour, talking, laughing. They smile. He gives her a rose.

 

\---

A few weeks later you see them again. You won't admit it to yuorself that you have started watching every day.

They stand under the light. Thy smile at each other. He leans down to kiss her.

You only turn away when a particular smell disturbs you.

Your microwave dinner has burned.


End file.
